Hope and struggle inside jail
Talking to our client Micheal* is like talking to an old friend. He frequently smiles, even as he talks about the difficult conditions while inside Harris County Jail. One of the most rewarding parts of being a client-centered organization is hearing our clients' stories, and Micheal wanted to share his with the world. During our most recent visit, Micheal spoke of his daily struggles, how he stays positive, and what he’s learned about himself throughout this experience as he waits for the resolution of his case.
What keeps you going?
I’m in a new dorm, and I have this little window; I love that window. I can see the street, and I watch people pass by. I think to myself, “I wonder where she’s going, or I wonder what he’s doing.” It gives me hope. When you’re stuck inside all day - you want to feel normal. My dad is my only connection to the outside world he is my support system. Talking to my family gives me something to look forward to. It’s unfortunate that I have to be in here, but I’m not gonna let that take anything away from me. I like to journal and stay present; focusing on the past or the future just creates anxiety.
How would you describe the environment in your pod?
The guards seem like they don’t want to be here, just mean for no reason. They treat us like animals which doesn't make things any easier. We’re all people. Just because I’m wearing orange doesn't make me less than. It can be hard to relate or connect to other people. I’m a positive person, and people don’t like that. Fighting is the second language in here. Fights happen every day. You’re being forced to live with people you don’t relate to. They should have programs or classes that could actually help people. Substance abuse classes, domestic violence classes, something we can participate in. Get to the root of the problem. Some people have mental illnesses, there’s people inside talking to themselves, but other people don’t understand, so they stick out and get picked on or beat up, and there are no cameras in the dorm. Even having recreational time would help - we haven’t had that since December. This doesn’t benefit anyone – it’s destroying people. It can change your whole mindset.
What do you plan to do when you are released?
It's hard to plan, but if I got out today, I want to spend time with my family, be an advocate for criminal justice reform, and eat good food! Eventually, I want to open my own business, a restaurant/bar with themes, performances, and open mic nights to showcase other artists. This experience has taught me to not take things for granted; even the smallest things, the sunrise when you’re driving home, a warm shower, driving with my daughter, just watching life. Everything happens for a reason. Everything I’m learning in here is for a purpose.
*A pseudonym to protect client confidentiality.